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Choices

Picture credit:    Michael Hulshof-Schmidt

 

Living in California for over 30 years,  allowed me to have a wide circle of friends and acquaintances.

Not judging people by their Color, Race,  Ethnicity or Sexual Orientation,  is one of the things that I am most proud of about the Golden State.

But today all over America and  even many parts of the World, personal partner or marriage choices,  are getting harder and harder to make happen.

Right now, here in Florida and in many other US States, people are being told that they cannot, may not,  marry the person that they love.

It is against the LAW and if they try to do so, they will be breaking the LAW!

Our laws, religious groups  and society,  seem to have drawn a line in the sand and refuse to listen, or accept the idea,  that they could possibly be wrong on this issue.

As a side note, it is just a bit difficult to stay focused completely on the “issue of freedom of marriage choice”  in this state, because as of today, Florida unbelievably, STILL has not passed the ERA.

The mood, the discussions, the emotions,  right now in Florida are hot and only getting hotter.

Every region,  or part of this state,  now has a Judge who approves of these marriages, but as soon as they are approved, our State Attorney General,  jumps right in and smacks them down.

And the issue is once again, back to square one, or, one step forward, two steps back!

But I digress,  the Issue here, is about choices.

I myself, am not gay, lesbian,  bi-sexual, or transgender.

But I will defend to my death, the right for any who are,  to have the right to choose WHO they wish to spend the remainder of their life with in a permanent,  loving relationship, or what we call Marriage.

I am ashamed and disgusted by the behavior of those who call themselves Christians,  who proudly march and name call, any and all that they view are wrong to wish to be married in a different way than they are.

Who each of us chooses to marry, should be our choice and only our choice, not Religious Groups, not the State or the US Government.

No one should ever have the right, to tell another Human being,  who they can,  or cannot be married to.

We are all granted, by our Constitution, Civil Liberties.

This should be a personal choice between two  consenting adults, and not subject to discussion or interference, by anyone other than the two persons involved.

Personally I have had, over my lifetime of various careers,  in various states in this Country, many friends who are gay, or transgender.

These relationships were some that have left me with wonderful, lasting memories and the thought that our Country, our World still in the year 2014, intends to forbid, to shame,  to stop them, from making their personal partner choices, makes me sick.

With the level of tensions, troubles and REAL problems on this Planet, right now, wouldn’t you think that they might focus on some of them,  instead of trying to impose their will on the millions who only wish to have a legal marriage?

By the way, many of my Word Press Followers are included in this painful, ugly situation and my prayer is,  that they will find happiness and peace,  in a World that is blinded by prejudice.

We are all the children of one God,  or another,  and as for me, I personally believe,  that any loving God would wish to allow each of us the freedom of CHOICE.

 

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Violence Against Women

Violenceagainstwoman
Picture credit:  World Health Organization

 

Writing today had not been on my agenda, until while scanning some of the reader comments from yesterday, I noticed that one was from an unfamiliar person.

Being of a curious nature,  I went to his site, and on the right side, was a list of the Blogs that he followed.

I saw a name that intrigued me and clicked on it.

As the page appeared, the very first image that came up,  delivered an instant sickening memory, one that will burn in my mind, in my heart forever.

I knew that I would indeed be writing today.

Neither the horrific image, nor the page, will be shown here, if you look around, it is out there.

It is a picture of two young girls in India who,  they say,  were gang raped and then hung.

Please read that sentence again, will you?

Then try for one moment  to remember what year it is,  this is 2014.

How is it possible, conceivable,  that this kind of abhorrence is still being inflicted on females anywhere?

Yet, it most assuredly is, and  in many places apparently.

The word rape is personal to me, a best friend,  the best friend of my then young son and two close relatives, were all raped.

Men for the most part, can never truly appreciate the fear that is associated with this evil word.

Unless of course they become incarcerated, then …………

But for us, for women, this is a word that we know all too well.

Some better than others.

Rape, whether we admit it or not, is always in the back of our minds.

Will it happen to me?

For women, the world around us has now become so violent, that simply going to the grocery store, can put any one of us at great risk of becoming the victim of a violent act.

Where we live near Orlando, the violent acts against women and children, have now become an ugly, daily occurrence on our local News.

Women and young girls are beaten, raped, car jacked and murdered here on a regular, horrifying basis.

It seems that we/they are not safe anywhere, anymore, not even at home.

All of this brutality, this violence against women, is happening in a State that still has not passed  the ERA, like several other mostly, Southern States.

Does this have any bearing on the outrageous brutality towards women here, maybe.

Although not familiar with the statistics in other states at this time, it has been said repeatedly on our news here, that Florida leads the Nation in violence against women, children and animals.

Sounds like we have a BIG problem here doesn’t it?

But, it is not just here, not just in Florida, not just in America, it is GLOBAL.

The very long list of types of violent acts against women is simply staggering.

And, it has been going on since the beginning of time.

In India, wives died in their husband’s  funeral pyres in a practice known as  sati.

Young girls are still suffering right now with female  genital mutilation.

A shock today was learning that  Ethiopia has the highest incidence of violence against women.

But when you consider the absolute, abject poverty there, is it really so surprising after all?

It appears that violence against others is much more prevalent where there is great poverty.

This makes perfect sense in a way.

If a person, assuming the perpetrator of the violent act is a male, is out of work, perhaps for a very long time, desperate and suffering from extreme low self-esteem, any one could then potentially become the target of a violent act.

A wife, a child, a pet could become the victim of violent, out of control, rage.

Regardless of the triggering point, this is absolutely not acceptable behavior under any conditions.

But, back to the point.

We on this Planet have a very serious problem with violence against women.

America has just finally passed, for all of the good it has apparently done, the VAW ACT.

Yet every single day, here and all across this country and the world, women and children become victims, another statistic, while waiting for this VAW  ACT, the judicial system that continues to fail them and yes all of us too, to save their lives.

Women go to court trying to get legal protection, in the form of a piece of useless paper, called a restraining order, and are murdered anyway.

So, what is the solution?

Well, if we wait for a legal solution, I truly don’t believe that it can or will, ever be the answer.

The answer I believe, is within ourselves.

We must change our basic nature, we must get to the roots of all humans and their eons old, errant thinking.

We must all, each and every one of us, be taught from birth, from our Mother’s, yes and most importantly from our Father’s knee, that each of us is valuable, each of us is worthy of being loved and each of us is important.

Once we as a species, begin to feel good, or at least not bad,  about who and what we are, only then can we truly accept and love each other and stop the violence against women.

 

Places to learn more:

The Violence Against Women Act

International Violence Against Women Act

Violence Against Women

Violence Against Women Laws

Women Against Abuse

Domestic Violence – Legal Protection From Abuse 

 

 

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My Most Admired Women~

Clinton_and_Aung_San_Suu_Kyi

Hillary Rodham Clinton with Aung San Suu Kyi
Picture credit:  U.S. State Department

 

They say that today is International Women’s Day.

This makes me just a bit curious, what about all of the other days?

What follows here is a selfish post.

I have always wanted to write about the women that I think have changed the world and influenced me.

So, with the excuse of what has been deemed their “day,”  I shall  begin!

I would like to speak of just a few of the women who have impacted my life and are especially worthy of mention here today.

 

I would of course, begin with my grandmother, who had 18 children and was the matriarch of our huge family and my mother, who raised me as a single mother, long before it was socially acceptable. Between them, these two very different, equally strong women, gave me all that was needed to become the person that I am today.

berthanugentmother

 

Of the women in my past not related to me, that I most admired,  I would like to mention a very special History teacher at Shortridge High School who made the subject come alive, for one who despised the whole idea of it, Mrs. Mary Walker.
She was a tiny, vibrant, African-American woman with beautiful white hair and I loved being in her class.
To this day, I can still hear her saying the word  ” Hapsburg’s.”

marywalker

 

Of all of the world’s current women leaders,  the one that I hold in the highest esteem is  Aung San Suu Kyi   of Burma/Myanmar. What she had done for her people and her country is  simply astounding and remarkable and there are few in the world who could have endured all that she has.

aungsansuukyi

 

Dr. Judith Marti was my first Anthropology Professor at CSUN and  taught mostly Ethnography Classes, which is basically, the study of a people through written observations.  She made a huge impact on all the years that followed in College. My classes with her and the lessons in life that she gave me, changed the way that I looked at  the world. She pushed me to always do better in every paper, every project, I would know little of real Anthropology if it were not for her. (Regretfully no picture)

 

Mrs. O’Brien, the dynamic, demanding,  Irish Charge Nurse at two of the facilities where I worked. She put the fear of God in all who were near, and not meeting her expectations in Nursing and patient care and taught me how to be a better Nurse. She often stood over me as I did treatments and remarked how perfectly they were done. As I told her, I had many times to practice with my son, who had years of skin breakdowns due to his paraplegia. We became very close and I will never forget her passion and her insistence on nothing but the best from all who worked with her. (Regretfully no picture)

 

For our current positive status in women’s liberation and equal rights we all owe much to many women, but for my own generation, my connection has always been to Gloria Steinem.  Those of us who came of age in the ’60’s, especially in Southern California, found their voice,  through hers. We were able to fight for our rights,  when no one wanted to give them to us and what she did made me a stronger woman. Regrettably, we are still waiting in this backwards thinking state of Florida for the ERA to be passed!

GloriaSteinem1972

 

In American politics, my choice must certainly be  Hillary Clinton  for being one of the most intelligent, powerful, accomplished women of my time. She is the closest we have come so far in putting a woman in the White House. For that I will forever thank her. Hillary has worked hard all of her life to make the world a better place for all of us.

HillaryClinton

 

 

 

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